How do you meet someone especially during Covid-19? In the Chinese and American dating scene, it appears that there are more single women than men; not to mention that women in China might have to use VPN to meet and get in touch with men overseas. Moreover, people in this generation tend not to take responsibilities nor commit in a relationship. There are also a lot of uncertainties in life, e.g. unemployment, economic instabilities and debts. These truly make dating harder.
Finding someone is like going grocery shopping: trying to get access to the door of opportunity at the right time. We have to be proactive so as to succeed. Then, we have to know exactly where to find Mr Right and what he is like. In view of this, let’s talk about the right time and place to meet the right person.
【Right Time】It is definitely not the perfect time to date due to Covid-19. However, we could try online dating. The recommended sites include: eHarmony, Match, OkCupid, Elitesingles, Zodsk, Christian Mingles, 2RedBeans and Jiayuan, etc. There are pros and cons on each website and the main concern is whether you are dedicated to meet someone and identify him. Do not be a utilitarian when you are on the site! We have to be patient when we chat with the people and become friends with them. Try to be friendly and learn from each other. Thus, you are giving yourself and the gentleman a chance. If you start with the mentality that you want to jump to marriage with him, or think whether he would help raise the kids, it will be difficult for the man to stay with you in the long run.
【Right Place】In the US, dating culture is more dominant than in China and it is easier to meet someone. It is advised that you join local interest groups to meet new dating partners, e.g. Meetup.com is a good starting point.
【Right Person】If someone meets your expectations, should you take action? What if he also likes you, shall you two be together? When you have met the right person, you have to take prompt action; strike while the iron is hot! The dating market is not as big as you think. There may not be many right choices, especially when we are talking about meeting your future husband. If you miss a chance, you may not be able to find your Mr Right. Many people do not have the sense of security these days as there are a lot of uncertainties in the current situation. We may feel scared and dare not to take the risk. Marriage needs rational judgment—Are you a better half? Will your relationship last long? Are you two able to raise the kids together and share the expenditures of the family? You also have to identify the right person. It is better for you to find a partner based on your standards, not just casually date someone. However, you may consider wisely if you should give up or not when the potential date is not totally up to your standards. For example, you rate the gentleman 70 points out of 100, you may want to think about where the 30 points go. More, can you bear the shortcomings of him? And whether or not he can overcome them in the future. Needless to say, we also have to focus on the good qualities of him, which is very important in dating. Lastly, bear in mind that love also requires sensibility and impulse; listen to your heart and make the right decision.
With the right time, place and people, you also have to know about yourself in order to be a better person; and develop good personalities. Spending quality time and being honest with your new partner are crucial; otherwise there will be conflicts and arguments when you two are married. You may wonder how but there are ways to learn about love and relationships, e.g. finding resources online or reading relevant self-help books. As we mentioned before, seizing the right time is very crucial. Success is ready for people who are well prepared. When the right time comes, you will then be discerning and have the right judgement to take the right action. As the saying goes, “Do your best and let God do the rest”. Your success in dating will be around the corner.
The article is adapted by You May Virtual Tea—“How to build and enjoy a life-long marriage and dating in Covid-19″